the boss

last night I saw Bruce Springsteen live. You know someone is the coolest man on earth when he has no opening band, starts right on time, plays a ONE HOUR encore after a 3 HOUR SHOW. Seriously.

orbs and laughter

ok so here is the florida blog...kind of rediculous. And yes the end credits run twice...I am lisping...There was no orb...

xo
amanda

the invitation

this poem was just given to me and I had to share it I feel it speaks a lot of truth...I will be posting a new blog later tonight. I just got back from 4 days in Florida...this week has a lot of excitment so check back for updates:)


The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.



© Mountaindreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999 All rights reserved

cigar smoke

my cigar smoke,
matches the fog as it wanes on by.
deep circles in the pond of my heart,
ripple like rain comming on down.
Bessie Smith plays on the dail,
reckless voice, angel child.
coffe stained leaves fall wild.
winds picking up, dampened floors,
chilled like my spine.
tortured souls hum through the chimes,
discontent rattles my blind truths awry.
I never knew love till I heard it cry,
emancipated feverish wine.
heaving my hapiness up the way side,
I never knew surrender till I built a damn for the tears I've cried.

swamp dreams come true

Deep Breathe Exhale.
Today was my wildest dream comming true. About 3 months ago when Vanessa and I shot first I had a dream the night after about me in a swamp playing piano... I woke up and immediatly called her to than explain that we HAD to recreate this image I had stuck in my head. I promised her I would find a vintage organ or piano that we could sink in a swamp and have me there with it sitting peacefully in this muck. She laughed and said I was crazy and than was like " HELL YEA" ...long story short EVERYONE I mentioned this too thought I was absolutly crazy and could not EVER do it. WELLLLLLL....today we proved them wrong. WE got up suuuper early to shoot in my overgrown tenis court and up by my tree house...change of clothes later we hoped in the car with the organ and drove to a lilly pond swamp by my house. The next hour was pure magic. My cousin Nicole was the BIGGEST help as she trucked along with our ideas and helped us lug the damn thing in and out of the water.

Vanessa and I were waist deep in the blackest, murkiest water with kreepy things brushing up against our legs the entire time. I just have to say how much I admire and LOVE this woman for bieng fearless with me and trusting my insaine ideas. It is the best promotional shot I could ever ask for. Unfortunately I have to hold back the final photo due to release purposes but I promise once the music is ready I will show you the masterpiece we shot.

Tonight at 7pm I will be in the studio mixing the horns and violin we layed down to "Matthew" and "I don't want to keep you from heaven too long"... Also I will start tracking the other instruments to the next two songs: "Pawn Shop Love" & "Little Drummer boy". Tony my producer is bieng so supportive and spending so much of his spare time on my record. I couldn't ask for a more supportive team of people around me. I have such a great feeling about this record...It is remenicent of watching the making of dvd's ...for instance Bruce Springsteen born to run or Bjork in studio ....bob dylan...etc.etc...the excitement in the air and this very clear emotion of "we are creating something special here" is just so evident. It's a very surreal and magical experience and I can not wait to share it with you...

xoxoxo
Amanda

country bumpkin girl time...

Today was soooo much fun. I met Lindsay Dumas today for the first time... she was so amazing and I was able to book her last moment and she trucked all the way from east toronto 2 hours to put make up on my virgin face haha I'm so not use to make up so today was ...interesting? Vanessa as par her usual increadible self made the shots look out of this world. We had to pack things up early because we had a bit of a late start...wine , cigars, girl talk....etc. haha So Vanessa is sleeping over and in the morning we are going to shoot some more stuff :) Keep your eyes open and I'll have more soon

xoxo
Amanda

photos!

"The reason I do photographs is to help people understand my music, so it's very important that I am the same, emotionally, in the photographs as in the music. Most people's eyes are much better developed than their ears. If they see a certain emotion in the photograph, then they'll understand the music."-Bjork


Today is the day!!!horray!!! photoshoot time! my fingers are weak from sewing and my spirits are high. I've got dream team Vanessa Heins and Lindsay Dumas alongside my cousin Nicole to shoot footage of todays adventures!!! I will post stuff from the day a.s.a.p. :)

xoxoxo
Amanda